In an Unlit World
by Amethyst Tellemand
Summary: After a tragic accident, one of the five pilots is left helpless in the darkness. Conflict occurs. Can you throw an ally away? Is there any other way to live?
1. Stumbling in the darkness...

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In An Unlit World…

A Dramatic fic by Amythest Tellemand 

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, only this fic. And because of the holidays I'm stuck with lint in my pockets, so there's nothing I can defend myself with from lawyers. Well, I do have this… *takes out a silver skillet and holds it up like a weapon* Begone, demons!

*clears throat* On a more serious note, I just wanted to explain this fic a little better. Don't ask me how I came up with it, it just came. I dunno. And this is the first time I've placed something up that's so serious, so I don't expect that many reviews. That's all right. Now, onto the fic! *bows*

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It was dark.

It had always been dark to my sight ever since the day of the accident. Now, I had to deal with unlit surroundings, quiet atmospheres, and a loneliness that hung in the air like humidity on a dense day. For a while, I was actually scared of this. The feeling of being alone, not being able to see anyone. Isn't that strange? Me, a Gundam pilot, one who will fall into the cockpit and rush forward into battle without even knowing if I will live or die, is afraid of being alone, surrounded by silence, and enfolded in the dark. Then again, it is the will to fight that got me here in the first place.

I wake up to the gray blurriness that has always been there since that dreadful day. I don't know what time it is; it hadn't mattered since then. The others would just let me sleep whenever now because I have no ability to pilot the Gundam. It seems strange to me, though, how they still let me stay and won't send me back to the colonies. Is it guilt? It shouldn't be. It was my own decision to take the actions I did. But… then again, I still like staying here, no matter how uncomforting it is. They are my only allies, after all.

I sit up sleepily and stretch. If I have been listening right, we are to move to another hangar soon. That might cause trouble on my behalf, there is no real convenient way for us to get there if I have to come, too. I sigh to myself as I get up and float to the door in the weightless gravity of the spacestation. I've over visited my stay. The others will probably have an argument over what to do with me. It won't be hard to send me back to the colonies; I have plenty of places to stay. But I bet it's that guilt factor that will hesitate the decision once again. Or at least bring conflict.

It doesn't take me long to get to the hangar. They moved my room closer so there would be easy access on my part, plus the sound of the machinery guides me to where the Gundams are always repaired. I press my right hand against the frigid, metal wall as I half walk, half glide down the hall. Feeling my way there, I count how many steps I have taken. 7…8…9… I turn at ten to a keypad and press the familiar access code in and hear the door slide up. I'm hoping as I head in that no one is there, but to my dismay I hear two voices conversing. Silently, I move to the end of the large room, hoping they don't hear me. But as soon as the voices dwindle I know they have spotted me. 

"Hey Quatre," Trowa replies to my silence. I turn my head over to where I hear his voice. 

"Hi," I murmur, trying to smile reassuringly, though I can't tell if it looks reassuring or not. I've noticed there's stirring from the other point, probably the one Trowa was talking to. Then I feel him pass by me as he heads to the door. 

"Well, I have to go. I'll see you out in the hangar at the meeting, Trowa."

It's Duo's voice, undoubtedly. He hasn't said one word to me since the day I came into consciousness from the medical center. Is he afraid to say something to me? Does he hate me for what I've done? Envious? No, it couldn't be that. Not in the position I'm in. Upset? Enough to hate me? Or is he still shocked that I took a risk for my life to save his?

Trowa interrupts my thoughts by clearing his throat and getting my attention. "We're going to discuss what's the easiest way to get to the next base."

I nodded innocently and leaned against the wall, crossing my arms in thought once again. It seemed as if ever since no one has wanted to talk to me. Which I can totally understand, in a way. What are you supposed to say to comfort? And even asking for _that_ from my allies is hard. So I try not to be upset by the fact that no one speaks to me of the matter. I mean, maybe not bringing my disability up _is_ their way of comforting me. Trying to act like I'm still normal. That I'm just Quatre, a pilot lost in the sea of destruction that happens to consume all of our lives.

There's only the silence and Trowa's footsteps as he walks by me, out the door.

***

_"Heero!" I cried over the sounds of the battlefield and the static of the radio, "We have to retreat! There's no way any of us can take much more pressure from the forces!"_

At first there was no response. Then, a voice, an answer, breaking up over the static, comes. "…Fine. Take 03 and 02 to the hangar. 05 and I refuse to move. We have to protect what's left of the station."

"Heero!" I screamed once again, but there is nothing. He cut off the transmission. I looked to the screens and radars. 03 was closest, I could tell, but 02 was missing. "Duo?" I said as I turned the communicator back on. But before I can get anymore of a response, a gunshot comes from behind, slamming into the helpless Gundam and hurtling me forward.

At first I couldn't get up. My head was plastered against the panel, not moving. I felt weak. Helpless. Paralyzed. Fearful. Yet, before these feelings could take over me, I gathered my courage and struggled back up. I could feel a sensation trickle down from my forehead, down to my chin and dripping to the panel.

Blood.

***

Author's Note: Hi! Thanks for getting all the way to the end of the first chapter! I'm hoping to have this in three parts, and by then I will have taken this off and put ALL of the chapters up. This is just to se if anyone likes the idea.

Oh, and if anyone's confused on what exactly _happened_ to Quatre, it will be explained, or at least you'll get it by then. *grins* Arigatou gozaimasu! *bows again as lights fade*

*voice from darkness* Read and review, kudasai!


	2. Enclosed spaces...

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I slowly walk down the hallway, dumbfounded beyond words. _What had just happened? _Nothing I couldn't have predicted. I saw it coming. I saw it coming the day I awoke from the concussion. I knew I would be rejected from the war somehow. But why wasn't it assuring? I could go back to a normal life… well, as normal as it could get from circumstances. But that wasn't what was bothering me either. But why should it? I knew from the start. I knew it would be a unanimous agreement…

But that wasn't what it was. It was something I couldn't predict, even after everything I had gone through…

I knew I shouldn't have been there, but I couldn't help it. There was no way I could miss the meeting. I wasn't even supposed to be there. So I listened from afar, where I knew they wouldn't find me. I listened to Wufei and Heero bickering on the transportation arrangements. I strained to hear the quiet conversation between Heero and Trowa on smaller terms. It seemed like they would never even bring the subject of my disabilities and where I would go. Like I didn't matter, or maybe they already knew and they hadn't told me. It made my stomach sink a bit at the thought. Would they really leave me behind without telling? Or… was it…?

"Hey, what about Quatre?"

I felt my head snap up at the sound of the voice. I still don't remember whose voice exactly it was, but at this point it didn't matter. At least I would be able to hear what was to become of me.

"We're leaving him behind with a way to a neighboring colony." That was Heero's monotone voice.

"But…why? You remember what the doctors said. The damage isn't permanent. What if he regains his eyesight? We might need 04 to battle," I heard Trowa speak up.

"We can't wait. We don't have the time."

"Why even bother? If the doctors were even close to right, he would have been better by two weeks ago. The war is getting close to its end. This is the only way." Wufei's voice was harsh. I almost choked at the sound of it, but I had to remember. He wasn't being rude on purpose. Some people are just… blunt. They say things right to the point. And, it was true… I had been like this for too long. I knew I was going to be like this for the rest of my life… I should have accepted my fate a long time ago… but… why? Would my allies really leave me stranded without a second thought? …Please… don't let it be true… not in that sense. They're just thinking of their missions. It's not that they would… forget about me…

"We can't! Come on, guys! He saved my life! We can't just leave him here! What if Trowa's right? What if he does get better? We'll lose a valuable ally! …Besides… I owe him one. We all owe him… for everything he's done for us without even a second thought. And now… we're just leaving him behind?"

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…Duo… This was the first time I had heard him talk about me since I woke up. I thought… he would have agreed with Heero and Wufei. But… now…

"Maxwell, there's no other choice. He's not getting any better. To us, he's worthless now. Just accept the fact. We all have to."

My hands gripped into tight fists as the words cut through me… it was true… it was all true…

***

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My memory… why couldn't I remember anything? It was dark…but what could I expect from that? Was I dead…? …Everything was slowly coming back to me. Quatre. My name was Quatre Raberba Winner. Pilot of Gundam 04. And… wait, where was I stationed? …Better yet, where was I now? A battle scene flashed in front of my eyes. Of course… something must have happened…

"Hey, he's moving. Look!"

I struggled to lift my head, but someone pushed me back. "Easy, Quatre. You were in an accident. Try not to struggle so hard."

"…Trowa? Duo?" I said with a hoarse voice that sounded like it hadn't been used in ages. "…Is that you?"

"Yeah! And Heero and Wufei… man, Quatre! You sure do know how to scare the shit out of us…"

I laughed, only to wince in pain. "I'm sorry, Duo… you'll have to tell me what happened. I can't remember."

"Oh… that…well, later. Anyway, I'm sure I account for everyone when I say that I'm glad that you're out of that damn concussion and back to normal."

"I guess… hey, can someone turn the lights on or something? It's really dark in here."

There was an uncomfortable pause.

"…Quatre," Trowa spoke, "…The lights **are** on."

I laughed again. This time nervously. "Come on…you're kidding, right? The lights can't be on. I…I can't see…

"…anything."


End file.
